The rewrite Series:THE CRIPPLING FEAR OF SUCCESS
Photo Courtesy of Anfisa Eremina
Announcement…
I would like to sincerely share with you all that I am embarking on a new journey here on the blog - The Rewrite Series. This series is a personal endeavor aimed at unlearning and relearning, as well as fostering personal and artistic growth. Through this series, I will challenge my own beliefs by questioning things I thought I knew the answers to. Additionally, I will engage in conversations that I would have previously kept limited to loved ones or myself. So without further ado, let's delve into this transformative experience together!
INTRODUCTION
At first, I thought the sheer ideology that one could be remotely fearful of success was dumb! I would argue, however, that someone would view the fear of failure as a reasonable fear. So where do I fall? If I’m motivated to be successful to combat the fear of being unsuccessful, why am I almost paralyzed by the dread of trying and succeeding?
I did a quick Google search on what the proper term is for "fear of success". "Achievemephobia". Yes, this is a real word! Along with my search, it has been mentioned that this success phobia can negatively impact the quality of life. In this blog post, we will explore the fear of success and its impact on individuals, as well as strategies to overcome it.
I know! I have a lot to unpack here. But, in this post, I’ll attempt to decipher my fear of success and praise for my work. I'll also try to explain how I’m getting over this fear. I’ll also reference throughout this post a piece of very helpful information from articles written by Kristien Moe and Amala Saymeh on BetterUp.com.
WHY DO I FEAR SUCCESS?
Why do I fear success? It's a question that many of us ask ourselves at some point in our lives. We may have big dreams and aspirations, but when we come close to achieving them, we start to feel anxious and fearful. It's a paradoxical feeling - we want to succeed, yet we're afraid of what that success might bring.One reason why we fear success is the fear of the unknown. When we succeed, our lives might change in ways that we can't predict or control. We might have to step out of our comfort zones and take on new responsibilities. This uncertainty can be intimidating and cause us to retreat back into our familiar, comfortable routines.
Another reason why we fear success is the fear of failure. Success often comes with higher expectations and greater pressure. We worry that if we succeed once, we'll have to keep succeeding in order to maintain that level of achievement. The fear of not being able to live up to these expectations can be paralyzing.Additionally, some of us fear success because we worry about how it will impact our relationships and our sense of self. We may fear that our success will make others jealous or resentful, or that it will change our identity and how we relate to others. This fear can hold us back from pursuing our goals, as we try to avoid any potential negative consequences.
Recognizing and understanding these fears is the first step towards overcoming them. It's important to remind ourselves that success is not something to be feared, but something to be embraced. Success can bring fulfillment, happiness, and greater opportunities. It's okay to feel fear, but it shouldn't hold us back from pursuing our dreams and reaching our full potential.
the “IMPOSTER SYNDROME”
There are countless times when I intend to be productive. Whether it is coming up with film concepts, writing a script, sketching, painting, etc. But the mind-numbing self-deprecating voice of doubt rears its foul head. I believe this is called "Imposter Syndrome". In an article by BetterUp.com by Amala Saymeh titled " What is Imposter Syndrome?" Saymeh defines this phenomenon as such:
"Imposter syndrome is the condition of feeling anxious and not experiencing success internally, despite being high-performing in external, objective ways. This condition often results in people feeling like "a fraud" or "a phony" and doubting their abilities."
This is the first time I've ever heard of this phrase, but it resonates with me on so many levels!
If I haven’t mentioned before, I can be a very detail-oriented individual who strives for success in everything I do... funny enough! But, even if I receive a pat on the back or a "great job", I can never shake the feeling that I could've done better. I’d immediately question my abilities and if I should even try my hand at pursuing my passion.
It's a mental state I've always possessed and there's probably more to address there.
Imposter syndrome is a common experience that many people have, regardless of their achievements or abilities. It is the feeling that you are not deserving of your accomplishments and that you are a fake or a fraud. This can be a debilitating feeling that can hold you back from reaching your full potential. If you are experiencing imposter syndrome, it's important to know that you are not alone. Many successful people have dealt with these feelings, including some of the most accomplished individuals in the world. It's also important to realize that these feelings are not reflective of your actual abilities or worth.
One way to combat imposter syndrome is to remind yourself of your accomplishments and strengths. Keep a list of your achievements and review it during times of self-doubt. Surround yourself with supportive people who believe in you and can help to boost your confidence. And most importantly, don't be too hard on yourself. It's okay to make mistakes and have moments of self-doubt. What matters is that you keep pushing forward and believe in your own abilities.
Remember, imposter syndrome is just a feeling, and it doesn't define who you are or what you are capable of. With time and self-reflection, you can overcome these feelings and recognize your true worth.
perfectionism
There's also an element of not wanting to mess up. If I could possess a superpower of any kind, it would be to never make any mistakes. I know what a waste of a superpower this is, however, if I chose my power that would be it for me! Insert my constant quest for perfection. Perfectionism by default. There is no doubt in my mind that this quest for perfection is a losing battle. So why try?
It's funny. Once upon a time, I worked in corporate America. I HATED this job, but I was good at it. In this position, I was taught almost everything. Most people would say that I was well versed in how to effectively work on multiple processes that many of my co-workers wouldn't even bother to learn because it seemed too difficult. But I did! And during those long and boring training classes, I made a bountiful of mistakes. In return, I learned a lot from it. After resigning from this position which I dreaded, I did take away a lot.
I learned that the fear of not being perfect and refusing to ask questions and ask for help only stunted growth. There had been co-workers who had been with the company for decades and they never wanted to learn how to do some of these processes because they perceived it to be hard and they didn't like to be wrong if they were being painfully honest with themselves. This scared me, to be honest. I saw these people who I knew were fully capable of learning things even if it was difficult.
"Smart people learn from everything and everyone. Average people from their experiences. Stupid people already have all the answers."
- Socrates
Photo Courtesy of Kristal Tereziu
However, they'd complain if they'd found a training class scheduled on their calendar thanks to their supervisor. I saw people who had spent the best years of their lives stuck in a company that could not care less about them. If you asked them if they liked their job, they’d simply laugh at you. They would never be considered for an opportunity to advance within the company due to their lack of knowledge of how these processes that I would work on day in and day out, but they chose to scurry away at the thought of working with these processes. I'm thankful for this experience because I know that I cannot grow with that sort of mentality.
The Antidote
Where do we go from here?
Gradually, but surely. Currently, I am working through these feelings and thoughts. According to Kristine Moe's article on BetterUp.com, there are eight ways to combat success fear. According to her:
1. Take account of your thoughts & feelings
2. Try journaling.
3. Take time to reflect
4. Acknowledge the fear
5. Find out the origins of that fear
6. Visualize Success
7. Self-Care
8. Self-Awareness
I highly suggest you check out Moe’s post and try her advice. She goes into greater depth about this on BetterUp.com. If you try these tips out, please let me know how it’s going and if you have any more suggestions on how to overcome this fear please share. This is a journey I'll take in strides and document so I can appreciate my progress.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the fear of success is a common feeling that many individuals experience. However, it is important to remember that there are others who have overcome this fear and achieved great success. Through research, I have found numerous individuals who have managed to crack the code and conquer their fear of success. If you are currently struggling with this fear, know that there is hope and support available to help you on your journey toward achieving your goals.
